The Fateful Ride
by Freida5
Summary: Bowser kidnaps Peach FOR LIKE THE HUNDRETH TIME! Peach is getting sick of it and will do anything in her power to get away. But what happens when over the time of a Clown-copter ride she reilizes that Bowser might be more three dimensional than he seems?


Hey Freida5 here. I have come to the startling conclusion that people actually like the stories I whip out in a day or two more than the stories I slave over for weeks. Isn't that just great :D  
Mario is owned by Nintendo, so don't sue me

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The Fateful Ride

Peach was sitting in the courtyard, lounging luxuriously on a beach chair and soaking in some sun. she wore a white light cotton sun dress, glad to be rid of that bulky pink monstrosity that was her trademark. She sighed at the thought of that. Yes she wore it when she was four, but why does that mean she has to wear the same exact type of dress for the rest of her life? Her image counselor insisted she wear it to all public functions but she really had no clue as to why…

And that brought back to her the reason she was out here. She had been driven crazy by the summer cleaning of the castle. It wasn't that she hated to clean, she would have done her fair share. It's that they wouldn't _let_ her clean. So they kept shooing her out of the rooms they were tearing apart while they refused to let her lift even a feather duster. Just thinking about it irked her. She was so royal she couldn't clean her own room?

"Stop rambling dear." She said to herself as she stretched and wriggled her toes in her sandals. "Meditation time." She sank back in her chair with a deep breath. She counted three seconds in and six seconds out, focusing on the feeling of the warm sun and the cool plastic, the light breeze that played across her face. She took another lungful of air absorbing all of those sensations into her and let it go. In a few minutes she was totally relaxed, all annoyances forgotten. She enjoyed the sensations, listening to the twittering of the birds, the soft swish of the trees, the faint beating of a helicopter-

Helicopter?

She squinted one eye open even as the sound grew louder she couldn't tell where the sound was coming from. She shrugged and resumed breathing. It would soon pass over, and if not she could use that to focus on her meditation. It was actually kind of a soothing sound, steady and just loud enough to be a comfort rather than an annoyance. She started taking another breath in-

Just to let it out in a shriek. A scaly arm suddenly wrapped around her waist and she was hoisted up in the air. The copter sound turned out to be coming from the bottom of a giant clown face with giant orange lips and wide innocent looking eyes. She felt all the calm that she had just breathed into herself vanish in a puff of smoke as she turned up to see a familiar green and yellow face with flaming red hair "Bowser! Will you ever just give it up?!?" She screamed at him.

He gave his evil laugh "Bwa ha ha, Never! Not until the entire Mushroom Kingdom is under my control!"

Peach scowled and bit down on his forearm, simultaneously jamming her own long manicured nail under one of his claws.

"Yeouch!" Bowser swung his arm around, trying to shake her off. She went sailing off and landed in a shrubbery several feet away. She instantly crouched down and used the cover to shuffle closer to the castle entrance.

She screamed again as flames suddenly enveloped the bushes in front of her. The Clown-copter retracted it's flamethrower as Peach popped up and shouted "Hey, what's the big idea! Are you trying to kill me?" She let out a little meep as suddenly the Clown-copter was heading right for her.

"Crap, crap, crap!" Peach shouted as she hightailed it out of the bush and down the dirt road leading away from the castle "Just leave me alone you scaly retard!" the half turned as she ran and pitched a paper fan behind her. Bowser pulled his head back into the cockpit and it bounced harmlessly off the side of the car.

"I see, I need to pull out the heavy artillery" Peach reached behind her and pulled out her trusty frying pan. She screeched to a halt and got into a baseball wind up. The Copter sailed past her, missing her by an inch. The frying pan didn't miss though, she swung it with all of her might, denting the middle of the moronic face by several inches.

Bowser also stopped and turned the copter around. He took one look at the side and gasped "This was just remade and look what you did! This is at least 700 coins worth of damage!"

"Here I was aiming for over 9000." Peach said racing forward "Looks like I still have some work to do!" she raised her war pan high, aiming for the blades of the copter-

"Oh no you don't" Bowser growled and grabbed her wrist. He hauled her up to eyelevel where she waited before pulling out a nine iron and whacking him over the head. He roared but didn't let go. He threw her into the back of the Clown-copter and took off, rising high enough so that Peach wouldn't get the idea to jump.

Peach stood up again furious "Every year, every freaking year you do this! I have enough headaches as it is, why don't you just leave me alone!"

"Because I need the power of the Mushroom kingdom to overthrow the entire world! Bwa ha ha!"

"Couldn't you do it without using me? Why don't you just make a peace treaty and backstab us like other normal countries?"

Bowser contemplated it, but shook his head "It just doesn't have the panache of kidnap."

Peach threw up her hands to start ranting at him but she just shut her mouth and sat down again. "Stupid turtle never learns."

"Well neither do you, stupid monkey." Bowser snapped at her "Why go outside without an armed guard if you know this is an annual thing?"

She looked at him incredulously "One, because my guards are all midget fungi and you'd beat them without breaking a sweat, two because they're annoying and I value my me time, and three because I can defend myself perfectly well."

"Yeah, see how well that turned out." He snickered.

Peach smiled serenely at him "Just because I'm in your stupid helicopter doesn't mean the battle is over. It's a long way to the koopa kingdom, and I'm ready to fight you every step of the way. One way or another I'll escape."

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Per ritual of capture, fifteen minutes of awkward silence passed before Bowser tried to make small talk. He glanced at her "So… any weakness in the Mushroom Kingdom's infrastructure I should know about?" he asked casually.

For the past several years Peach had always replied with stony silence. But this time around she thought _why not_. "Was that supposed to be a joke?" Peach said.

Bowser did a double take, not expecting her to break the years of tradition they had. "Well, it's about to be my kingdom, so I have to know how to rule it properly."

Peach sensed an opening. She flapped a hand "Don't bother. Dad has no idea how to run a Kingdom and look how well we're doing. It's basically a democracy with a figurehead by now." She leaned back and rested her arms on the edge of the copter "That may be one of the reasons that this kidnapping plan never works. Even if they don't have a princess they still have the board of ministers, and that's what counts."

Bowser gaped at her as Peach kept her face carefully blank. _Please take the bait, please take the bait, please take the bait!_ She thought hopefully. But Bowser's face broke into a crafty smile "Nice one Princess, but next time think up a lie that's believable."

Peach imagined herself giving in, then Bowser revealing he wasn't sure himself until she told him. Now was not the time to let the facade go! "Huh, what are you talking about? Why would I lie." She asked, the image of princessly earnestness "I'm kind of mad about it myself! I don't want to be some doll the ministers put on display for the kingdom. That's not what royalty is supposed to do." She crossed her arms and pouted. _now realize what a stupid turtle you've been and send me back home!_

Bowser paused thoughtfully. Then he got that evil smile he gets whenever he thinks of something horrible. "Why Princess, why did you never tell me this!" he said in an aggrieved tone, still smiling slimily "Then why don't you become the Koopa Kingdom's Queen? I assure you, I am no figurehead, and any queen of mine would have as much power as I do over the state of affairs."

Trapped! Peach blinked rapidly trying to make up an argument against Bowser's countermove. But he interrupted "Give it up Princess. You're important enough to send the strongest fighter in the kingdom to get you back. I think I'll just stick to the good old plan of ransoming you for the throne."

"Because that always works so well." Peach said bitterly. So the Turtle wasn't so dumb after all. But that didn't mean he was unbeatable. She would play along until he presented the perfect opening.

A few more minutes passed before Peach yawned noticeably "Hey, does this pile of junk have a radio or something?" She asked.

Bowser twitched "You call my ride a pile of junk one more time and you won't even make it to the Koopa Kingdom, Princess." He threatened.

"A little protective of your 'ride' huh?" She smirked. Boys were all the same, so protective of their stupid cars… or clown helicopters in this case.

"Yes, because the kids worked so hard on it. It took the tykes nearly a year to overhaul it." He patted the rim of the copter fondly. He glanced back at the Peach to see her looking surprised. "What, you think I made this thing on my own? I'll admit I'm no good at gadgets, that's why Ludwig does it for me."

"I keep forgetting you're a father." She murmured "Although… why do you need me as your queen if you have such a… fertile wife already?"

"Hmm? Oh, they're all adopted. It's a proud Koopa tradition that the brightest and most powerful children are taken into the royal family. Every king or queen in the royal line was adopted."

"I never knew that!"

He gave her a wry look "Could that be because you never talked to me before?" she scowled, but before she could say anything else he pushed a button "there's no radio, but if you have a shroom-pod you can plug it in here."

She shrugged "In my rush to pack I must have left it behind."

Bowser snorted, but quickly covered it up with a cough. Peach was startled, since when did Bowser have a sense of humor? "Here, I'll put mine in" he said "If you don't like anything I'll shut it off.

Peach braced herself, ready for a wave of heavy metal or punk rock. When 'Classical Gas' came on she nearly did a spit take. "I never figured you for a Mason Williams fan. I would have thought with the spiked collar you'd be more of an Iron Maiden person."

"I might have some on here. Would you prefer that?"

"No, no thank you"

As they sped along the clouds Peach waited for the right time to strike, wondering if this would even work. They listened to a few queen songs, one Black Sabbath cover, and Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand before she asked "Hey, I can remember a few songs off the top of my head. Does this pile- I mean contraption have a microphone?"

"I can do one step better Princess." Bowser flipped a switch and one side of the copter flipped over. A full keyboard settled back down into the rim.

"this thing doesn't have a radio, but it has a piano?"

He paused his shroom-pod before saying "Ludwig's brilliant, but I never said he had any common sense. You know how to play right?"

"One song" Peach twined her fingers together and stretched them in front of her before going up to the rim. She glanced over to the front of the copter and smiled, the control panel was just an arm's length away. But she quickly put her gaze back on the keyboard and started to play.

She started slowly, but soon sped up the off sounding melody. The tune was mainly four notes long, half of them flat. Bowser gave her a strange look, not recognizing it before she began to sing.

You can tell  
from the scars on my arms  
and cracks in my hips  
and the dents in my car  
and the blisters on my lips  
that I'm not the carefullest of girls

you can tell  
from the glass on the floor  
and the strings that are breaking  
and I keep on breaking more  
and it looks like I am shaking  
but it's just the temperature  
and then again  
if it were any colder I could disengage  
if I were any older I could act my age  
but I don't think that you'd believe me

it's. not. The. Way. I'm. meant. To. be  
it's just the way the operation made me

and you can tell  
from the state of my room  
that they let me out too soon  
and the pills that I ate  
came a couple years too late  
and I've got some issues to work through  
there I go again  
pretending to be you  
make-believing  
that I have a soul beneath the surface  
trying to convince you  
it was accidentally on purpose

She snuck a peek at Bowser and was rewarded with the sight of him looking at her bewildered. Well that's what she wanted. Every second looking at her was a second not paying attention to the controls. She continued the mad tune.

and you can tell  
from the smoke at the stake  
that the current state is critical  
well it is the little things, for instance:  
in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses:  
please excuse her for the day, it's just the way the medication makes her...

I don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this  
so I might join your century but only as a doubtful guest  
I was too precarious removed as a caesarian  
behold the world's worst accident  
I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM! HIYA!

the last word wasn't part of the song, but Peach said it as she swept the feet out from under Bowser and lunched herself at the control panel. She stomped a delicately sandaled foot over his throat and grabbed the wheel, doing a 180 and aiming for the Mushroom Kingdom.

Bowser struggled to roar, the heel still crushing his windpipe. Peach put all of her weight into keeping him down but it was no use. A few moments later she was thrown off and landed with a smack into the other side of the copter. She slumped dizzily to the floor as she felt the Clown-copter turn around, back on its original course.

"Sneaky- Princess." Bowser wheezed, still recovering from the brutal stomp "Well- Played."

"Thanks." She spat clutching her bruised head.

They both recovered for a few minutes before Bowser said "I think we're listening to my music the rest of the way there." His voice was still scratchy, so Peach wasn't sure whether she had heard a little bit of respect creep into his voice or not. He flicked on his music player again. "Nice playing by the way. I wouldn't figure you for a Dresden Dolls fan."

_Bowser three, Peach zero._ She thought gloomily "Well I don't listen to the 'I'm a Barbie Girl' song anymore than you listen to-" she was cut off as the song started

and it's so easy when you're evil  
this is the life, you see  
the devil tips his hat to me-

"That point went right out the window." Peach muttered as Bowser started to laugh then coughed.

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As soon as Peach recovered she had a mind to look at the scenery below her and see where they were. They were flying over the Great Desert, so she gauged they were a little more than halfway to Bowser's Keep. _I have time enough for two more plots if I play my cards right, and one chance to run when we land_. She thought to herself as she started at the back of Bowser's head _or maybe just one. He might be on guard after the last attempt._

"Hey, I have a question." Bowser said, his voice almost sounding normal again "Where do you get all your weapons from?"

"Huh?"

"Just an while ago you attacked me with a fan, a frying pan, and a golf club. Where the heck do you keep it all?"

"Oh, every girl has a hammer space."

Bowser looked at her eyebrows raised "A what?"

Peach sat up, ready to teach a lesson "You know how in anime the girls can always pull out gigantic hammers or fans to make a comedic point? That's really a little tear in reality where you can store stuff, the hammer space. I use mine for more practical reasons than just a hammer though."

"… Girls get an alternate dimension purse?"

"You could say it like that." Peach said with a smile. "It's only fair. The guys get all the giant swords, so we have to get something too."

"That is bizarre. I've never seen Wendy use one…"

"Some girls like to keep it more private than others. It depends on the person." Said Peach, a new plan beginning to hatch in her brain. She ever so slowly poked a finger out in front of her and slid it to the side. A small black hole opened up in the middle of the air. She carefully shielded it from Bowser's view as she looked down inside her hammer space. She hadn't cleaned it out in years, so tons of junk was stuck inside. Literal _tons_ of stuff.

Peach knew this copter could carry a lot of weight, it had to truck around his scaly highness and few of his kids at a time. But it can't touch this hammer space.

With a wide smile she upended the small tear and shook. It stretched and A fan, several dresses, and a few tennis racquets fell out. Bowser turned around "What the heck-"

Peach shook the space frantically and more and more stuff fell out. There was a spare tire for both her car and motorcycle, a propane grill and tent for camp outs, several thick books that she had been working on mixing willy nilly with her fashion magazines. She blinked as Toad fell out, still munching on the Bavarian chocolates she had been saving for later.

"Stop, Stop!" Bowser roared as the dashboard started beeping "We're too overweight, we'll crash!"

"So take us low enough to survive it!" Peach shouted back. She gave the space a final shake, and her entire set of aerobics dumbbells fell out with a crash.

he put a claw over a button on the dashboard "I'm warning you, put that stuff back in or else!"

"Make me!"

"Suit yourself" he grabbed Peach around the waist again and hauled her over her shoulder as she screeched. He pressed the button and then crouched down to grip a handle that appeared on the floor. Suddenly the whole floor of the cockpit shivered and swung itself up 90 degrees. Bowser and Peach dangled hundreds of feet above the ground, only one brawny arm separating them from life and death. Peach covered her eyes, partly because she was terrified and partly because she didn't want to see all of her stuff falling away to land on the desert floor with a distant thunk.

The floor whirred back into place and Bowser gently set Peach back on her feet. As soon as he took a step back she slapped him in the face "How DARE you put your hands on me!" She said, shaking with fury and nerves.

"Would you rather I let you fall?" He snapped at her. She gaped at him, looked over the edge, then threw herself over the side into thin air.

Peach whooped as she fell, feeling the wind ripping through her hair. How could she have been so stupid? She could float the second she got ten feet above the ground and land safely. all those lame 'magic for princesses' classes were paying off now!

But there was an evil whirring behind her. She looked to her side to see the copter racing her downwards, Bowser looking furious in the cockpit. Peach pulled her arms and legs in, trying to go faster. But the Clown-copter put on an extra spurt of speed and succeeded in getting below her. Peach curled up in a ball as she crashed into Bowser's muscular chest and was caught in his arms.

"Stupid, annoying, pain-in-the-rear monkey!" He bellowed at her, still holding her "What in the world were you thinking!?! It's not like you have any extra lives, you idiot!"

Peach noticed he was shaking, she guessed from adrenaline. She wriggled and he finally got the hint to put her down. but before she could get her footing he slapped something onto her wrist and then onto the railing of the side of the copter. She pulled her hand away with a cry, but found she couldn't. he had handcuffed her to the cockpit.

"I've had enough of your games." Bowser growled. "what the heck happened to the little Princess who did nothing but cry in the fetal position when I kidnapped her? It was boring, but I'm starting to prefer that."

Peach rattled the metal angrily "You kidnapped me for the first time in what, 1985? I was four! Come on, don't handcuff me! I promise I won't do anything." she crossed the fingers of her free hand behind her back.

"Like I believe that. You almost got the better of me three times, there's never a fourth. Geeze, this whole fiasco was started with just one innocent question…"

Peach sighed and slumped to sit on the ground. It looked like she was out of the game for good. "Hey, how old are you? I've known you for at least ten years, so-"

He scowled "247 this month."

"What? Oh, one of those species differences. don't you think it's kind of gross letching on a girl a two centuries younger than you?"

Bowser whirled around and shot a stream of fire from his mouth over her head. "I've had about enough of you!" he bellowed. "Insulting me, attacking me, pestering me, stop being so, so un-lady like!"

Peach felt her blood run cold. "Un-lady like." She said dangerously, standing to her feet again. "So if I try to defend myself from a kidnapper I'm not a princess?" She took a step forward, her eyes sparking dangerously. Bowser took an unconscious step back "What, if I'm a real lady I'm supposed to whip you up some cupcakes while you do god knows what to me in your slimy keep? Am I supposed to smile and giggle while you take over my kingdom and kill my family and friends? Am I supposed to be a good little wife to whoever steals me first and locks me up tight enough so Mario can't find me?!? well if that's what a lady is supposed to be, then I'll burn in hell before I become one, so you can take you're air head princess stereotype and shove it where the sun don't shine!"

Peach stood panting after her rant, still shooting daggers at Bowser. He stared back at her, a strange look in his eyes. "You're too good to be a human, Peach" he said abruptly and turned his attention back to the controls. It was her turn to gape after him. She sat back down, arm dangling from the handcuff, wondering what in the world had gotten into him.

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Another hour and a half later Bowser's Keep loomed over the horizon. It was as dreary and grey as ever, nothing but a series of spiky towers. Although someone had gone to the trouble of putting up a white banner with the words 'Welcome Princess Toadstool!' in big pink letters above the main entrance.

"I told them to make it Princess Peach, but do they listen? No, and now I look like a moron." Bowser muttered to himself as they touched down gently in front of his home. He said a little louder "and where are the armed guards! I specifically asked for four platoons in full regalia, and this is what I get?!"

"You mean those guys? Sorry, but I think they won't be able to make it. They're too busy being unconscious." came a familiar voice from behind them.

Peach gasped and whirled around "Mario! You're already here!" she called happily.

Indeed, the mustachioed plumber had gotten to the keep before them and it looked like he hadn't been idle. An enormous pile of koopas lay behind him, all bruised and battered. Mario glared at Bowser and raised his fists "So, another lame attempt at kidnapping Peach huh? Haven't you've gotten it through your thick skull yet that it never works?"

"They do say 23rd time's the charm" Said Peach falsely bright "Mario, I'm a little stuck, before you start beating the crap out of Bowser, could you-"

"Mario! I'll crush you like the little Italian insect you are!" Bowser roared. He launched himself from the cockpit, trying to squash him.

Mario took a step to the side and grabbed his tail as he was coming down. he spun him around in a circle a few times and sent him flying. "I'm from Brooklyn, you slimy serpent!"

"Oh crap!" Bowser landed only a few yards from the Clown-copter, sending up a spray of stones and gravel that Peach had to dodge. She rattled the handcuffs frantically, simply willing them to be unlocked as the sound of the battle outside raged on.

_Stupid, shaking your had won't work!_ She said firmly to herself _the dashboard, that must be where the keys are._ She reached over as far as she could. Even though the cockpit was pretty small, she could only just barely put a hand on the glove compartment and open it up. She couldn't see what was in there so she used the very tips of her fingers to pull out what she could reach. She got a manila envelope stuffed with paper, the words 'Top Secret' scrawled in handwriting across the top.

"Oh come on, with a sign like that I have to look." She smiled to herself and took a look, despite still being handcuffed. It was about twenty pages of writing in the same hand that was on the envelope. She could only assume it was Bowser's writing, thought it was pretty sloppy. She squinted and deciphered the first page:

When the rivers flood  
When the tides stop turning  
When the icecaps are melted  
I will stay with you

If time stands still  
If the moon disappears  
If the shadows fade  
I will stay with you

Though the words pierce  
Though your gaze burns  
Though my heart aches  
I will stay with you

When the knight falls  
if the hero abandons you  
though your heart will break  
you will stay with me

"Poetry." Peach said disbelievingly. The first one was mediocre but as they went on they became more and more complex and beautiful, never naming once who they were meant to be for. She became horrified, terribly confused, and disbelieving all at once. These sappy but earnest love poems had to be for some nice lady koopa that he's always admired from afar. These can't… these can't be for _her!_

Suddenly something crashed into the Clown-copter and tipped it over. Peach screamed as the papers went flying and she was knocked off of her feet. The copter rolled, and since she was still attached to it she went for a ride. She was alternately slammed into the side or dangled in the air, screaming all the way. Part of the reason she was shouting was because Bowser's keep was on a very high cliff, and for all she knew she could be rolling off the edge any second.

The copter came to a juddering halt, Peach hanging limply from her wrist. "Bowser?" She coughed and looked up into the face of her savior.

"Don't worry, he's done for! He'll never harm you again, Peach." Mario knelt by her and cupped her face in her hand. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Keys" she said weakly, pointing at the glove compartment. Mario was up in an instant, throwing out more and more manila envelopes as he searched for them. Peach's mouth gaped wider and wider as more portfolios of poetry fell to the ground.

"Got them!" Mario called triumphantly. Then he caught a look at her. "Peach? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing" she said firmly, blushing brightly "Just hurry up, my arm's killing me."

They exited the wreckage of the clown-copter. For a moment Peach felt a little sorry for it. She could imagine all the koopa kids surrounding it, sadly examining the wreckage of their present to their father. Then she wobbled dangerously, she must have hit her head sometime when she was rolling.

"Stay here Peach, I have to finish off Bowser." Mario said gently seating her under a withered tree "Just relax and I'll have you safely back in your castle before you can say 'Super Mushroom.'"

"No!" Peach said jumping to her feet again "I want to finish him off."

Mario looked surprised "Now Peach, I know he scared you-"

"Scared nothing, I want to teach him not to mess with me!" Peach said angrily "I'll give the final blow, it's what I deserve." He looked like he was about to refuse but she held up a finger "Ah, who's the princess here? and you better not say you."

They walked over to where Bowser lay. He had been thrown into the helicopter and that's what had started it's mad roll. He was battered and crumpled, it looked like an elephant had walked on him. Peach put a foot on his chest "So, have you learned your lesson?"

His eyes widened. He mumbled something and pointed at her side. She blinked and looked down. against all odds, the first poem she had ever read was stuck in her pocket. She bowed her head "Whoever's going to receive these is going to be one lucky lady, but I sincerely hope they're not for me." she whispered down to him.

His eyes closed. It was about time to wrap things up. She pulled out a tennis racquet from her hammer space, her trusty whacking one. Before she hit him though she said at the top of her lungs "Evil Koopa of Koopa Land, I, as royal monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, forbid you to set foot in my kingdom ever again, or to commit any acts of violence on my person, understand?" Mario clapped at her little speech but what he didn't know that it was a cover. While she said it Peach cast a healing spell on Bowser. But then she wound up and smacked him with a satisfying thwack, sending him flying through a window into his keep.

Peach and Mario hugged "you're getting faster and faster at this rescuing business." She said tiredly.

Mario smiled and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, supporting her "You look beat. I'll take you home and you can rest."

Peach took one last look at the keep behind her. She wanted to say something witty or funny, but nothing came to mind. She was simply tired and somehow felt a little lost. "Yeah, rest would be good." She said dumbly and was allowed to be lead away by Mario.  
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In a dark and gloomy room filled with lava came a deep roar of "What do you MEAN the copter's done for! I only flew into it a little!"

Ludwig frowned at Bowser "It's not just that Papa, it seems massive damage was done to it with a blow from something heavy made of iron. With that and the rolling…" he trailed off with a shrug.

Bowser sighed "Same deal as last kiddo, you and your brothers and sister get unlimited funds, but I want it done quickly. We have next year to plan for."

Ludwig smiled indulgently "Next year, yes of course." He bowed to his father and left the room.

"Right, next order of business!" Bowser said, resettling on his throne.

A little koopa servant hustled in, bearing a plain brown package "Mail for you sir!"

"Mail? Do we even have a postal system?"

"Not since you got a wrong letter once and burned down the main head quarters."

"Oh right, I remember that. Wonder who's it from." He checked the return address but all it had was a little drawing of what looked to be a frying pan. He opened it wondering what the heck it was.

There was a white box inside. He opened it up and found a cupcake with a single candle and the number 247 printed on it with purple icing. "What in the world?" Bowser said taking it out nonplussed.

"Is it like a birthday present?" asked the servant mystified "Sir, you're only turning 29 this year, who would send you this?"

Bowser stared silently at the cupcake for a few moments before opening his mouth and gulping it down in one bite "Go about your duties" he ordered the koopa "And just forget about the present, some hooligan must have sent it to me." the servant bowed and ran out of the room.

Bowser got up from his throne and pulled a thick rope. The curtain lifted from the wide floor length windows that opened up into the valley his Keep faced. These windows also happened to be pointing directly towards the Mushroom Kingdom. He smacked his lips, the cupcake had been good. "And that, dear Princess, is worth another ten years of botched kidnappings." He said to himself.


End file.
